At some point, an energetic decision can happen in you where you start to reject processing your feelings. You might get the sense that you’re tired of the endless things coming up from inside you. You might start hating that emotional part of you. You might feel just completely resistant and in opposition to yourself and this emotional reality, thinking that it’s a burden on you and that you’d be better off without it. I call it the Eclypse of the Heart phenomenon.
It’s a dangerous place to be in. As it goes on, you will probably feel more and more hollow, stuck and meaningless, seeing life as this never-ending nightmare and constant suffering. After a while you might even want to kill yourself. And you could be stuck in it for weeks, months or even years, not realizing what has even gone wrong.
At its source is a deep rejection of the energetic reality of yourself. A disconnection from what you are – splitting yourself off. The part you’re rejecting is the reality of you, and so what you end up with is being a hollow ghost without truth to yourself, feeling powerless against reality and life that you’re in opposition to.
Look, I’ve been there, I know it can be really difficult. But don’t close yourself off to feeling. It’s not worth it. As Rumi once said: “I know you’re tired, but come, this is the way.”
Open your heart to feeling once more. Accept things for what they are. Embrace the reality of you. And don’t give in to thoughts of rejection – have faith that working with what’s true about you will bring you to genuine happiness. Deeply at your core, wish for doing exactly that.